• Oliver Messner

Things I hate spending money on

Updated: Jan 19, 2021

Right off the bat I'll say that this is not some form of rant post about the obvious, every day things in life that basically everyone has to fork up their hard earned money for. So I won't mention hated taxes, despised electricity bills, irritating and crippling car, mortgage or rental repayments. This post is about those things that, for no apparent reason, come along way more frequently than they should.

1. Milk

There is nothing wrong with milk. I love milk. In moderation, it's great for healthy, strong bones and teeth. My cup of coffee just wouldn't be the same without at least a bit of it, not even mentioning what a vital ingredient it is when enjoying a bowl of cereal. Without milk, those Cornflakes would just be so much dried maize, wreaking havoc on your gums while trying to chew it, only to tear up the inside of your throat on it's way to your stomach, once you finally got to swallow it ( I know this doesn't happen but bear with me ). We go through almost a dozen liters a week and I've seriously considered adopting a milk cow but could not live with the idea of the poor animal being sucked dry and teetering on the brink of life and death within a fortnight.

2. Shoes

Good footwear is very important and of course this is something that has to be bought weather I like it or not. The little one seems to outgrow them at an increasingly ridiculous pace and the eldest seems to have a personal grudge against shoes of any type and seems to have declared war on shoe-kind in general. I am convinced that she goes to town of them the second she gets out of eyesight, proceeding to puncture, mar, rip, tear and scuff them in no time whatsoever. Her record still stands at a whopping three hours, in which she managed to totally ruin the new pair of sneakers we had just bought earlier that morning. Expensive, branded shoes or the cheaper kinds, she breaks them faster than I would have thought possible.

3. Clothing

More specifically pants. These, unfortunately receive the same treatment as shoes do. After having bought a new pair of pants and gotten the eldest to try them on, she will twirl around once. I will say some obligatory parental phrase along the lines of, ' Great. Wow, those sure do look very pretty.' Then glance through the window, a flock of birds catching my eye as it flies by, look back at my daughter a second later and she'll be standing there, in the exact same spot, not having moved a muscle but suddenly the brand new pair of pants will be sporting two identical holes at both knees. Where they came from or how they got there is anyone's guess. At least that's how it sometimes seems to me.

4. Diapers

Now this is an obvious one. It still astounds me at the amount of diapers we go through. We've tried and keep trying, to get the little one potty trained but she's not coming to the party. She rather thinks of it as some sort of game and will, without fail, sit on the potty for twenty minutes at a go, proudly proclaim, ' No poo poo,' and then do the deed into the new diaper we just put on a minute earlier.

5. Hair accessories

Especially clips and hair bands. We've stopped buying the expensive variants of these as they inevitably get lost, all the time and for no apparent reason. Due to unanimous decision, my wife does the kids hair. I am forbidden from so much as touching a hair brush in their presence. I have honestly tried my best, failed more often than not and have consequently given up on even trying to comb their hair. Fingers get caught, bands snap, clips bend and hair gets pulled, resulting in my girls crying as I desperately try to untangle my fingers. No matter how beautifully intricate my wife styles their hair, seemingly in no time the little one will once again resemble David Hasselhoff, having a bad hair day on the set of Knight Rider circa 1982 and eldest will appear to have had a brownish, hairy octopus-like creature climb her head, only to die an undignified death right there, tentacle suckers securely fastening it to its perch.

Do other people have similar irritants they deal with? I'd love to hear about them in the comments.

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